Negative Self-Talk...why won't it stop?

As I was looking through my email today I noticed something interesting... I subscribe to almost every motivational, inspiring, positive mailing list I come across!

For real, my inbox is filled with them.  But my brain still attacks itself.  My thoughts shoot to the negative aspect before the positive.  I have no issues with telling other that a positive life is the best life.  Yet, practicing what I preach is like pulling teeth... from a lion!  I just can't get the negative talk to go away.

Don't get me wrong... I've been able to purposely include positivity in my thoughts; it's the unconscious nagging of that little devil on my shoulder that won't shut it's mouth. 

There is a fix, and trust, I have an abundance of belief that this fix WORKS!  Not because I have felt it, or seen it, but because every successful person (Mailing list/FB "friend) I've welcomed into my life this past year or so says the same thing...

AFFIRMATIONS!

I've even seen young girls in their bathroom mirrors telling themselves how f'n fantastic they are!  So why, if a 4 year old can do it, is it so damn hard for me to look in a mirror and say, "I believe in you."

Because the self-doubt and low self-esteem run deep, and the negative talk has gone on for a LONG time.  Change is not easy.  I hate the idea of changing my car, let alone changing my BRAIN!  When I look back at my life, I can see where these negative thoughts came from.  I can feel the feelings I felt then - the pain, the disappointment, the struggle to stay "me."  I truly, honestly, do not remember being who I am today, or wanting to become who I am today.

I'm not a horrible person.  I love life and am blessed everyday to wake up, I love my daughter and the fact that she always makes me laugh, but there's little else that I feel.  It all gets aimed back inside, wrestles around for a while and shoots out as anger.  Along the line, I lost who I wanted to be.  I forgot that MY life was about me and my dreams, and that I am the scribe!

That's where the negative talk sneaks in.  When you're vulnerable, when you are looking, and when you feel off but your brain THINKS everything is okay.  This is why AFFIRMATIONS are so important!  Affirmations keep us thinking positive.  I give you permission to be selfish.  Start with affirmations about you.  I will too!  Now think.  What is a negative thing you tell yourself everyday.

Me?  Just one?

"God damn, these scars are ugly."

Can you even see my acne issue?  It's along my jawline.  I see this every time I look in the mirror, obviously.  But what does me NO good is thinking "I'm ugly."  All that does is tell my subconscious that "I am ugly - Truth."  That's so not true!  I've a beautiful woman.  I have beautiful blue eyes and a killer smile... but all I see is are the handful of acne spots/scars that I happen to have.

So, I've decided!  From now on, I will see MY EYES first.  I love my eyes, always have.  From now on when I look in the mirror, I will look at my eyes, compliment myself and refuse to focus on my acne.

Do you believe in the power of attraction?  This could be a whole other blog, but for now, it basically works like this.  I would tell myself, "I have the clearest and smoothest skin!"  I would have to believe this, feel this, and it doesn't hurt to turn it into a daily affirmation!  After repeating this over and over, and coming to truly believe I have the clearest and smoothest skin, it would come to pass!

It's just as easy for me to tell myself I am BEAUTIFUL as it is to tell myself that I am ugly.  It's a matter of picking the one you want to believe in.  It's hard work to change, but I believe that at the end of it all, the work is well worth it!