I didn't think things like this affected me...
I did walked away with some scars...
Is this why?
I have no clue if this is a pattern of mine or not. I don't keep a journal - though I probably should - to track behaviors and such. But this year, Memorial Day is hitting me.
Every year around this time, I think of 36 specific people. Some I never met. Some I knew in passing. One I see in my head often. And One was a great friend to MANY of my friends, though just an acquaintance to me...
These 36 people lost their lives. They gave the ultimate sacrifice.
I am often thanked for my service around this time of year... I'm very against this. Because I am always thinking of these 36 men and women... I'm remembering them...I'm wondering if they would have had children now, like I do, had they made it home safely.
And then someone thanks me... Why? Memorial Day is a day to remember those who have fallen.
I'm not placing this definition here as a stuck up, "you're uneducated" dig. There are MANY things I know not the meaning of. But Memorial is a word I am FORCED to know.
A "memorial" is usually a structure built to remember those who have passed. Think of the Lincoln Memorial in DC, the Korean War Veteran Memorial, Vietnam Veterans Memorial - here, check out this site of Must-See Memorials. "Memorials" are also events held to remember those who have passed. It's always has to do with those who have, well, died. It's not for the living.
These 36 soldiers that the 3rd Brigade, 1st Infantry Division (BRO) lost, each had a memorial down-range. I set them up. I watched as friends, leaders, and civilian workers came in to say goodbye to the battlefield cross that was meant to represent their fallen comrade.
This became an overwhelming obsession for me. I had to set it up, check every line, dress right dress. I had to set up the sound system, make sure everything worked, no feedback. I had to play the music, I knew the cues, I knew exactly when everything needed to be played. I didn't know these 36 soldiers personally, but I would be damned if their farewell was anything less than perfect!
I've blocked a lot of this away. I image a tiny music box in my head where I hide all the awful things that I've seen. That way, if I ever open it, I hear beautiful music and the awful is so scary. But sometimes I forget to wind up the music box and the scary comes out...
Do you know a Veteran? If so, hug them on Memorial Day because they may have a music box too. They may have a number of people they are thinking about. Don't thank them, just celebrate in remembering those that were lost.
#GoSilent is sponsoring a Nationwide moment of silence. Monday, May 29th, from 3:00pm-3:01pm, go silent to remember those who paid the ultimate sacrifice and gave us our freedom.
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